the one about starting crossfit

I kind of took stock of my life and pinpointed some areas I really wanted to change and just started making the phone calls and going to the places to make the changes. I can't tell you exactly why the switch just flipped, but I woke up and decided I was still scared of how much hard work everything was going to take but I was just going to do it anyway. That's how I now have a schedule that includes Crossfit at 530 am a few times a week.

That's ass early to go work out. I'm barely coherent because I'm not getting up early to caffeinate and pretend I'm human before getting in my mamavan and driving downtown. I am waking up, quietly changing into workout clothes that are essentially scrub pants and oversized t shirts, applying En-R-Gee on my toes, and sneaking out of the apartment without waking anyone up. I get there and I'm bleary eyed, but I'm determined. I sweat so much doing things that I don't think anyone else there sweats while doing, but I'm doing it. I know people have some very strong opinions about Crossfit, and that's fine and respectable. This was a good choice for me right now. I found a box that is incredibly supportive and never says a word about how slow I'm moving or that I'm still lifting just the bar, or whatever. They fist bump me when I don't argue about a WOD and just grit my teeth and do my best and I finish it. They push me just a little bit. And form is way more important than intensity. I don't know when I will feel like burpees are not mocking me as I do them. But I keep doing them. I feel the workout, but I'm not sore. I keep going back. I committed to myself to go 3-4 times a week for two months, and then go from there. I think it is very likely I'll commit another two months at that point, but also, I think it's okay to look at yourself and realize you have a very significant amount of weight to lose and you want to build strength and stamina to support your family life and your career choice and instead of looking at the ultimate goal just choosing something to focus on for a couple of months.

Today I learned how quickly someone will come to your aid if you go to do a back squat and squat only to realize you're not going to be able to stand up again. Tomorrow I hope to learn burpees have been cancelled forever.