Nursing school is insanely hard, but I still think motherhood is the hardest thing I've done. It's beautiful and heart stopping and never ending and stressful and lovely. All at the same time. Right now, I can't wear my contacts or makeup for a week because I have pink eye. I have absolutely no recollection of having had pink eye before I had kids. S was actually three before he had it. And now, every time A has any kind of virus, he gets pink eye. If A gets pink eye, so do I. He's such a cuddle-bug that I know when his eye gets glassy and then that characteristic discharge starts, I might as well throw away my contacts immediately.
Pink eye is a huge pain in the ass. Neither of my kids really complains about what it feels like, but as a grown-up? It HURTS. I have it in both eyes and I feel like there's tiny pieces of gravel stuck in each eye. My eyes are sensitive so it is extra crappy to be stuck in glasses and not be able to drive with sunglasses on. And the laundry. Change everyone's pillow cases every night. Wash all the sheets. Wash all the towels immediately. Hand washing, hand washing, hand washing. It will likely be all clear by the weekend, but it is just not my favorite thing at all.
But, last night, A was crying and I went into the boys' room to check on him. He was adjusting himself on his bed and still had his eyes closed. I just leaned over and put one of his four blankets over him, and I saw him relax and breathe deeply.
And that's motherhood to me.
I complain about the frustrating things and I make mistakes all of the time and I have short words when I shouldn't, but then sometimes I get it exactly right. A just needed a blanket, and I knew that, and that's all. It's so small. But if you don't revel in the millions of tiny and small moments, you get lost in the all the hard and frustrating parts.
So, take a minute. Do something small. Smile at how small and how big it is all at once. And try to do it again tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
the one where i might just be highly inappropriate
I have taught both of my boys the proper anatomical names of their body parts. We talk about who has a penis and who has a vagina. I want them to come to me and K first when they have questions later and I feel like the best way to set this up now is to just be honest and frank when it comes to body parts and questions about body parts. This is not a big deal when we are all at home, but the boys go to daycare now.
One day I picked up S and the afternoon teacher, who is a roughly 20 year old male, told me he needed to talk to me. He was so nervous that it caught me off guard. He said S was a great kid and he was really smart, but he learned a new word that caused some problems. He said it was a name for a female body part and it kind of made it worse that he knew exactly what he was talking about. I finally figured out that he was talking about "vagina" and asked if S was just saying it or if he called someone a vagina. The teacher told me S called him a vagina.
Okay, I don't know how I didn't burst out laughing. I did remain serious though and said I'd talk to S. We stepped out in the hallway and I knelt down and told S that we can't call people body part names. You can't call people vaginas, not because it's a bad word but because we don't call people names. We don't call them penises or butts or anything else. He shrugged and said okay and that was that.
A is now really trying to talk. He's actually got some pretty complete sentences, but you really have to listen to him and pay attention to what's going on to catch everything he's saying. He's now very into naming people who have penises and people who have vaginas. So, you know, round two.
Last night, S was full of questions about when K and I met, where we were, where he was, and then that led to him asking how he got out of my tummy. I said, "Well, this isn't how it happens for everyone, but things got a little complicated and the doctor had to make a cut and pull you out." He was mildly horrified. And then immediately asked what if he had just come out of my mouth. I said that never happens. So of course, his next question was what is the other way that babies get out. I said "When the baby is ready, what usually happens is the doctor helps it come out of the mommy's vagina."
So, pick up time at daycare this week should be super fun!
One day I picked up S and the afternoon teacher, who is a roughly 20 year old male, told me he needed to talk to me. He was so nervous that it caught me off guard. He said S was a great kid and he was really smart, but he learned a new word that caused some problems. He said it was a name for a female body part and it kind of made it worse that he knew exactly what he was talking about. I finally figured out that he was talking about "vagina" and asked if S was just saying it or if he called someone a vagina. The teacher told me S called him a vagina.
Okay, I don't know how I didn't burst out laughing. I did remain serious though and said I'd talk to S. We stepped out in the hallway and I knelt down and told S that we can't call people body part names. You can't call people vaginas, not because it's a bad word but because we don't call people names. We don't call them penises or butts or anything else. He shrugged and said okay and that was that.
A is now really trying to talk. He's actually got some pretty complete sentences, but you really have to listen to him and pay attention to what's going on to catch everything he's saying. He's now very into naming people who have penises and people who have vaginas. So, you know, round two.
Last night, S was full of questions about when K and I met, where we were, where he was, and then that led to him asking how he got out of my tummy. I said, "Well, this isn't how it happens for everyone, but things got a little complicated and the doctor had to make a cut and pull you out." He was mildly horrified. And then immediately asked what if he had just come out of my mouth. I said that never happens. So of course, his next question was what is the other way that babies get out. I said "When the baby is ready, what usually happens is the doctor helps it come out of the mommy's vagina."
So, pick up time at daycare this week should be super fun!
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